Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Sweet Dreams Babe- Dare Ya...

Ever feel like you'd like to unknow something you know?  Recently somebody dared me to watch a movie- when was the last time that happened to you?  They said, "you watch this one and if you still think everything is O.K., fine, I'll listen to you."  Sometimes things you have known you should have gotten more involved about, come back to haunt you, this was one of those, ever have that happen?

Part Deux of that was the fact that even knowing what I knew back then, it wouldn't have mattered, it wouldn't have changed a thing that my friend had now immersed me in, ever have that happen?  My basic tenant is to believe we control the outcome of our lives, if we take the Event and add the Response (or Risk) we will get the equals of Outcome  E+R = Outcome, because I believe this it comes to me that even when you cannot change a system which is so large and out of control it cannot and likely will not be reeled in; well, you can still choose to not ignore to your own life and the lives of those you know personally.  I dare you to watch "Food Inc." 


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Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Personally

Ever have someone come up to you and greet you as someone else? Then they realize you "oh ...you aren't," and they stammer out something, usually, "uh, I'm sorry," and have you noticed how they finish that statement, yes they do don't they, they say "I didn't mean to ...bother you." Isn't that something, ever think about how universal that reaction is? It is, in fact, almost global in it's consistency, isn't it? Many years ago a man who wondered about why people choose the ways that they do to interact wrote a fascinating portfolio of conversational psychology- "What do you say after you say "Hello," in which work the theory principally restated PAC, transactional analysis, the Parent, Adult, Child, model of considering what people say. TA, transactional analysis as it came to be known in California where abbreviations take over quickly, TA can be useful to those who take the moments it requires to learn it. When someone seems odd, ill at ease, or, manipulative, they may in fact be, precisely that- and knowing TA can be very useful in dealing with people who are like that. If you would like more information regarding this or other personal subjects, we'd love for you to subscribe and let us know how we can be of service to you.



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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Need Versus Want

When we're young, youthful folks, we have energy, dynamic thinking, we view change as desirable, and we believe that we have time to get whatever we choose to accomplish, done.
 
Half way through the flight of life, we discover that the ticket really does have a cost, that we might not have calculated that cost in how we took our seat next to the window; we just started watching the runway fly bye.

After enough take offs and landings, we're used to the flight of life, and then we discover, we hadn't really known as much about that cost as we might've had we been smarter, wiser, more counseled instead of counselor.

When we're young we like relationships based on want, we see someone we want to know, we get to know them, it is pursuit, accomplishment and joy.  As we live a while longer, we begin to see that relationships do have a factor that involves what we need, rather than so much, want.

As the needs move on, and grow stronger and stronger, we then begin to realize - we have to enforce a lack of needy relationships in our life, if we don't, we will be totally drained of all energy, and; we will not only be unhappy, we will feel unfulfilled.  At some point we have to begin to ponder if we should be saying to someone "thanks, but, no thanks - I've got all the misery I need."


 

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Saturday, April 10, 2010

Sex Is Part

He didn't understand why she was upset, she didn't understand why he didn't care!  All he knew was, he was trying to be a good person about things, all she knew was, he had said the "wrong thing."  Ever find yourself in a situation where their voice is going up and they are "pissed off," and you don't know why?  Would you like to not have that happen?  It will not seem possible but this is the truth, it doesn't need to happen, and you can find a solution to this, be happy in your relationship, with anyone- sound too good to be true- I thought so too- but it isn't.  It's not a method, methods can fail, but this works, works every time, and works for any person.  NOW - how you gonna turn that one down- I know it works, it worked for me.  So here is what you do, easy as can be, fill in the subscribe button and we'll take it from there, and you will be on the way to a relationship of happiness that you won't believe.  "Great man, but why was sex in the title,"  sex is in the title because as the title says, sex is part of this - a big part, no pun intended at all - so fill in the subscription and we'll see you - happier and with a fulfilled relationship as we go to work for you!


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Friday, April 9, 2010

This Wreck Is Preventable - Iran and You - Do Something!

The Big Story You Dare Not Ignore!
This is a fantasy about Iran.  Suppose a juvenile delinquent threatened your life said they were going to "burn you out," held up a book of matches, and headed up the street toward the gas station.  Would you wait until they came back with a gas can full, before you got active about their threat?  I'd make two phone calls, police first, the threat appears to be real, and the gas station second, hoping I could talk a person who sells stuff, out of making a buck when the threat is obvious!  Heck - I'd even offer to pay them the difference if they'd hold off selling the juvenile delinquent any gas for a while, sometimes paying a sort of blackmail money can prevent one disaster at a time, can't it?  Meanwhile I'd be all over the situation until I found a way to get it resolved.  What I wouldn't do is say "to heck with them, they aren't gonna do anything," go inside and go to bed, go back to sleep, "well why not," you ask, "they probably aren't going to do what they threatened to," well maybe you are right, but what if you are wrong?  Want to wait until you wake up to flames before you do anything?  Iran isn't a nation we ought to fantasize about, they celebrated "Nuclear Day," their President, isn't going to let the issue that he claims his proactive warrior like statements are about; go away. 

  "Well that's just fine Dana, you've got me all alarmed; now what do you think I should do?"  Let's start with a call to your leader, if you live in the U.S., let's wake up your Congress - here are the contact numbers for all the Congress - SO - now you can't say you didn't have a number to call! 

Lets say you think that you'd rather call your leaders -and if you are in the world or global mode - here are contact numbers to U.N. representatives world wide.  So now no matter where you reside you can't say, "well I didn't have a number to call anyone."

Why call, it's faster, and this isn't a situation which requires slow action, this is a situation which merits your attention full time, full alert, until that call is made- you won't get off the hook, no matter what part of the world you live in.  Once you call, then you really ought to follow that up with a written request that they; your leader, take immediate and focused action to control Iran's behavior- by whatever means is necessary- including sanctions against economic means which will hurt until they back off this proactive nuclear stance. 

Now Iran isn't the only threat, they aren't, possibly, even the most likely threat to bring the world to the brink of nuclear holocaust- let's consider that there is considerable information out that North Korea is every bit the threat that Iran portends to be.  My suggestion is that you take the same action described with regards to Iran, with regard to North Korea.  "Well I would, but it won't matter."  Here is a simple truth, if you do, it will. 



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Thursday, April 8, 2010

Who's afraid of the big bad...

Usually that song is finished with "wolf," right?  Only this time, lets finish it with a truth that is so frightening that most people reject it out of hand.  Which means, they throw up their hands with a "what can I do," reaction which then allows them to say, "well, nothing is going to get done anyway, with or without me."  This is uncaring on a scale that is frighteningly real beyond anyones ability to rate such.  We know why we are scared stiff by nuclear war- it is the single most frightening thing which might actuall, REALLY, happen!  That we are closer today than at any time in world history to such a holocaust, is a CALL FOR ACTION by every individual.  Get on the phone, get on TWITTER, get in touch with any politician any person of power that you know, and let them know, there is no such thing as a safe nuclear bomb-  Queen Noor of Jordan, as well as,  Valerie Plame Wilson (former CIA covert agent against the spread of nuclear weapons) speaking to the Signing of the Strategic Arms Reduction Act, clearly says "there is no other way to handle this than to go to zero nuclear weapons in the world."  Wouildn't you agree it's time to end the insanity - take a stand and make this world safe?



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Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Sexting and Game Theory - Oh oh...will this work?


    Is sexting a risk?  According to at least one source, ABC News, it's like passing notes used to be, but with a lot more intense involvment, click here.  Sexting, at another source, is apparently, a crime- click here.  This isn't yet a private study, but it may become one, so we are asking some questions about sexting, wanna help?  Have some questions you'd just love to have asked, but maybe, you are a bit leary about asking them?  Read on, you will see how this is going to be looked into.
 
    Game theory isn't about games at all, it is about chance, when will you take a chance, and what will prompt you to do that- what are you willing to risk, and what cost do you assign to that risk, that's game theory.  We used to play a contest in sociology called "break out," and what it involved was a boy or girl from a broken home, meaning, one that doesn't work, where mom and dad don't believe in love, anymore, if they ever did, and where the parent may not even be present- they may be working, or, in some other way removed, as in, through the bliss of the bottle or the snort, or the shot- because many times; as shocking as that is to many people who like to pretend they are beyond it, such situations actually do happen.  Oh the anger is deep out there in over half the marriages in so called Christian homes, mom or dad is gone- now while you're asking yourself, "why," refocus on the opening statement, game theory- it's about risk, what are you willing to put at risk, it's about motive, why are you willing to risk it?

    Time to get down to it, because here is the interesting truth behind sexual conduct, it's always been a risk- becuase men and women are different, and the species, humanity, is the hold card- the bluff, well; it's out there, and in our U.S. culture, it's pretty warped, world wide, sexual conduct and mores (pronouned MoreRays, meaning: 
(Wikipedia's version click here)  (For what appears to be a European slant, click here)) have begun the process of becoming estranged from their cultural docks, and the ship of conduct has set sail- only in our world that sail is becoming a sale.  What does it take to win?  Who wins and what do they win?  Hugh Hefner has an empire designed upon the principle that we will look at what we believe is a secret that we are looking- and a shame of sorts if we are caught- but the conduct of beholding a magazine "bunny," (why what could be more likeable than a cuddly little "bunny?") is acceptable risk for a mild form of voyeuristic indulgence that Hugh established and made an empire of.  So that voyeuristic nuance, the subtle taking a second look that Bill Cosby made fun of in defining lust, all of a sudden springs up in the midst of articles, and advertising, which, because the magazine empire became so enormous, was very fruitful advertising indeed.  Money thus became a factor in the indulgence, and the winners were- and the risk was- and the risk, is?  To Hugh Hefner and the empire which came about, one would have to ask at what point it proves something?

    Sexting is but the newest form of a game that has been going on for centuries, sometimes played with subtle moves, sometimes discreet, sometimes, not; depending upon the level of expertise in the player; but the game is sexual in nature and it boils down to man and woman and- wanting - because it is the wanting that is the prompter.  It is as old as the story of a garden where God said, "you shall not eat of that fruit- it is the knowledge of good and evil,"  at which point, the participants in the game (indulge me on that one) were not capable of evil- they only knew good- enter- wanting.  According to the story a third party which the ancient Hebrews called na'khash' (translated as Serpent) then approached the woman and tested whether she was logical, and she was, she was asked if God had said she'd die when she ate the fruit, her response was to try and remember exactly what it was that God said; which is when she became the serpents messenger, at that point, the game was on, in full swing, had she said "it doesn't matter," who knows what the serpent would have come up with; you can count on one thing, he likely wouldn't have stopped.  Back to the story- we all believe we get it, but the truth is, stuff was going on that scientists today are just beginning to get a grasp of, genetics were being messed with.  So at the conclusion of this tale, the man joins with her, which is his problem, he didn't have to, but actually it's my opinion, if you dig down deep enough, it was actually not an ignoble act at all, which man, when he really loves a woman would let her stand alone in an assault?  So from this experience, we get the first, perhaps, socially recounted tale of "want."  The want was not inside the person, it was brought to them from a source, and my friend, that is the way it is today.  Fast forward to boys and girls, because it isn't usually adults, to some extent, at this present time, who are playing with sexting, it is boys and girls, usually, high school age, which means they don't believe they are boys and girls, they believe that they understand the consequences of what they are doing, and that foolish adults just "don't get it."  All teenaged rebels express that very same thought, but these choose to assign to it, a permanent potential for harm to their future, sexting isn't a temporary picture that is to entire, it can become, a public display for all to see.  Most who sextext don't really get that, but, again, what is the question when it comes to want?  The question is, risk, is it worth the risk? 

    So like any person who doesn't really understand a trend that is so different to my generational nuance, my tendency is to question it; and to reject it, and to wonder if it is possible to bring into the mix science which  addresses not the moral aspect, but the actual real risk factor?  My questions are going to be myriad, and if you would like to contribute to the question base, we would love your input, please comment in questions that you think should be asked, please make your comments PG rated (however) in the forum, now, if you have a question about "scrumping," which can only be asked using the "f" word then go ahead and email me your question, we're not here to judge, rather we are seeking to try and fathom behavior of going against established authority, that is different than risky behavior like smoking, and drinking; both of which we believe can also be addressed by game theory.  We look forward to any questions you believe we should be asking that we aren't. 



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